A Workplace Festivus for the Rest of Us

Frank Costanza aired his grievances. Why can’t  good employees do the same, just one day a year?

I read that to be considered an expert in something, you must practice it for at least 10 years. In that case, some of us are experts of bottling our feelings for the sake of keeping  peace at work.  This skill is really put to the test at Christmas, when coworkers seem to go a little insane. Online shopping at work, long lunches for more shopping and wrapping of spouses’ gifts at the office can really test a hardworking employee’s patience. You’ve never seen someone bring a roll of wrapping paper to the office? Just wait, some day you will.

All this frustration has me wondering what the office would be like if we celebrated Festivus. I think it’s only healthy that once a year, we air those grievances. How good it would feel to announce, “I got a lot of problems with you people!” just like Frank Costanza in my favorite TV show, Seinfeld.

Think of the possibilities. Bathroom grievances alone could take a good portion of the day. There are surely just as many break room grievances. Maybe a few parking grievances. A lot of uncategorized grievances, like that guy who clips his fingernails right there in his cubicle or the woman who insists she does not need this job, because her husband pays for everything. Unfortunately, we have a Christmas tree in the lobby, not an aluminum pole.  A sure sign that we better keep it bottled up if we want to keep our jobs.